


Leaving - Shaymien

by SuddenLight



Category: Smosh
Genre: Break Up, M/M, Small mentions of Boze and Courtney, Whoops my finger slipped on that post button, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-28 11:35:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16722585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuddenLight/pseuds/SuddenLight
Summary: It’s the tears, how they dribble down his cheeks in crooked lines. How his throat snaps shut, burning from the invisible flames.- Or how Damien Haas handles the defeat of his relationship with Shayne Topp





	Leaving - Shaymien

**Author's Note:**

> I've had many ideas for Shaymien fics, but turns out none of them made me incredibly inspired to write so they're in the works. This one, somehow, managed to pass my writer's block and make me work. Thanks to my discord for saying this was good and that I should post it! Sorry, please stop listening to me and read.

PROMPT: Leaving  
Day One: Writing Club  
9/11/18  
| _______________________________ |  
Playlist:  
What a Heavenly Way to Die  
(Troye Sivan)  
Postcard  
(Troye Sivan, Gordi)  
Already Gone  
(Sleeping at Last)  
All I Want  
(Kodaline)  
Broken  
(Patrick Watson)  
Waves  
(Dean Lewis)  
Hurts Like Hell  
(Fleurie) 

It’s the tears, how they dribble down his cheeks in crooked lines. How his throat snaps shut, burning from the invisible flames. Oh those guttural cries for help he gives, haunting his own memory. He grips onto the lifeless sweater, left in his closet as a farewell. So much for the gift, because now it's soaked in watery snot and torn from frustration. His head aches, aches from all the tears and the anger and the depression. Cradling this sweater didn’t feel human enough, not warm and soft enough. It was just a sweater. No wonder the aching, crying, and anxiety. He will be alone after who knows how long.  
Oh, the torment of it all.

 

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~

 

Damien couldn’t forget that age of confidence he gained after his relationship with Shayne kicked off. Everything became bright as the sun had finally decided to give him some sunshine for being extra good. Mari had commented on his happy little strut as Wes poked at his smiley face. What a high life he has had. He flew through the offices in the beginning and being able to keep it a secret gave him an adrenaline spike. Love is strange, huh? How it makes you new.  
Oh, the burn of it all

Damien questioned himself sometimes. Some were like: What would he do if he couldn’t kiss Shayne anymore? How could he sleep by himself for any longer than a weekend? Did holding someone else’s hand and feeling warmth scare him?  
Sharp pains abruptly break his thoughts. Emotions prick his insides. Strong waves of guilt jam into him, and he feels disgusted. He always had anxiety on existential days, those tended to be most days of the week anyway. There was always one question that sent him crawling. Would they survive their one year anniversary?  
Oh, the agony of it all

Damien liked a lot about Shayne. All of Shayne would be over exaggerated, but possible nonetheless. Shayne’s clothing smelled fresh, simple. They fit his body, and there were always mornings where he just didn’t want to wear anything on his side of the closet. Shayne teased Damien, jabbing at his belly with the end of a spoon. “You’re so cute Damien. Wear my stuff more often.” Damien did, but it always itched him when Boze would tug on the extra material of the clothing in confusion. “You losing weight or wearing someone else’s clothes?” They didn’t want to tell them just yet, even after a few months.

Damien hadn’t noticed the change in their relationship before it was too late. It was quiet things. Shayne began to face away from him in bed, he stopped petting their cats, conversations at home cut to only a minute before Shayne had to go away for some Smosh Squad project. He felt this was normal. If only it was normal.  
Oh, the irony behind it all

Shayne was pacing around their apartment when Damien got home. “What’s going on what’s going on?” Snaps through his head as he throws his bag to the side to take action. He grabs his boyfriend’s shoulders, speaking in gentle tones until Shayne looked him in the eyes. Oh no. He seemed exhausted, petrified. “I’m so sorry Damien. I- can’t be… with you anymore.” Of course, he tilts his head, a grin of shame appearing on his unfiltered face. “Uh... Huh?”

“I have to go,” Shayne said, his pretty eyes so soft, so full of pain. "I'm sorry."

“You’re leaving?”

“Yeah, Damien, I am.”

Damien doesn’t think Shayne knew the day he left was their anniversary. They hadn’t made it to one year together. Shit shit shit shit shit shit- fuck. He didn’t think to watch his bo- ex-boyfriend stumble through their door with two suitcases of his possessions. He hadn’t gotten the chance to settle in. Not fully. Damien took it upon himself to tear up every sign of Shayne there was. Notes on the fridge, a blue tube of toothpaste, magazines on the coffee table only touched by him. It hurts real bad when he goes to what used to be their bed. Shayne would tell him to breathe, to focus on those perfect eyes of his. He wasn’t here anymore though. It all hurt.  
Oh, how his heart bled through it all

Damien skips two days of work, physically and mentally incapable of moving his body. Boze sent a few messages questioning his whereabouts, Courtney and Matt question him as well. He doesn’t reply to any of them. He does go in on his third official day of the breakup, wandering into the lobby like a zombie on sleeping pills. There were questions, none were to see if he and Shayne left each other. To them though, there was nothing there. Nothing but clues and hints.  
Oh, how they hadn’t known of his aching

Damien finally crumbles on the tenth day. He had to film the Damien and Shayne show. They finish, and Damien could not be more relieved. He races away, trying not to puke his guts out on the way. Withdrawals are shitty. How did he survive it?

And now we’re back to where we began, with one hell of a broken man and his ex’s sweater. He just could not breathe.

“I know sweetie- shh you’re okay just breathe for me. We’re here for you.” He almost believed the blonde in front of him was Shayne Topp, but he wouldn’t know what to do if it was Shayne easing him into silence. Courtney settles on her knees, an arm wrapping around his shoulder. Boze is petting his hair, all nice and slow. Nothing like Shayne though. He hadn’t noticed he called for the couple.

“Shayne left- he just shoved his stupid stuff into a stupid suitcase and left. He didn’t love me. Oh goddammit!” He wails, throat feeling like there was a log shoved down it.

He fell asleep that night with Boze and Courtney, almost as if they were parents protecting their child after a nasty dream. He has never felt more thankful for those women.

But now he can’t stop asking himself questions. What would he say if Shayne came back? What will happen when it's their one year anniversary for the breakup? The Damien and Shayne show? They won’t be best friends anymore, will they?  
Oh God, please let me wake up with clear eyes and sleep with no tears

 

But hey, maybe heartbreak will be their forever?

 

FIN.


End file.
